Communication is something that can strengthen your marriage, or make preserving it difficult. Here are the statements you'll most often hear from people who are unhappy with their marital relationship:
“Our marriage was probably a mistake, my spouse isn't right for me. There's no fire between us anymore, no celebration, no bright fireworks”:
Very many people live with the belief that passion and love should stay unchanged. Their expectations of marriage are unrealistic, or even unfair to their partner. It takes consistent effort from both partners to keep the fire alive in a relationship.
“I don't understand what my partner wants from me”:
You hear this more often from men than from women. A wife demands equality in decision-making, but at the crucial moment says, “you're the man, you decide.” Or she asks him to be more sensitive, more attuned to her feelings, and then criticizes him for being too emotional.
When we explain what we want rather than making our partner guess, it prevents us from being disappointed by unmet expectations.
“I don't feel appreciated”:
It's very important to say “thank you” to your partner, so they feel their efforts aren't in vain. Expressing gratitude with love and tenderness shows your partner that they matter, that their efforts are noticed and valued.
“I don't know what to do when my wife is crying or upset”:
Because boys are often taught to be reserved about showing their feelings, an adult man may not know how to respond when emotions are expressed. It's never too late to learn to notice and express your own feelings, and this helps you understand the other person too.
“Grumbling and complaining”:
Something women often do, and something that can push a marriage to the brink. As a rule, this happens in relationships where expectations aren't stated directly, and where promises aren't kept.
“How can I make my partner happy?”:
Responsibility for being happy rests with the person themselves. We can give our love to another person, be attentive, and help them. A state of happiness, like any emotion, is contagious. If one partner makes an effort to be happy, it's likely the other will join them in it.
