It wasn't so long ago that we ourselves were in school, then in university, taking exams and tests...
Time has flown by, and now our own children stand at the threshold of important trials. Exams always bring a whole wave of emotion, stress, and fear. When our children go through this, we go through it with them.
So, let's start by paying attention to the state our children are in as they prepare for these important events.
There are different kinds of symptoms that can reveal their true feelings during exam preparation. On the physical level, this can show up as bouts of nausea, headaches, shortness of breath, and increased sweating.
Emotionally, they may have outbursts of anger, and feelings of helplessness and disappointment.
Psychologically, they may experience waves of panic at the thought of an approaching exam, and may show heightened self-criticism or negative thinking.
All of these symptoms can show up differently: in some children they may be very pronounced and last a long time, in others they may be mild and brief. Either way, they shouldn't be ignored or left to sort themselves out. I'd like to share with you some helpful ideas that helped me and my own children at the time, so I hope they'll be useful to you too.
1. Planning. Develop a clear plan that includes all the necessary stages of preparation. This plan should cover not only how time is divided between main and additional study sessions, but also rest and emotional release. Remember that, alongside their studies, it's important for your child to watch a good movie, spend time with friends, and simply “clear” their mind of stress, so they can then study more productively.
2. Consistency and regularity. Remember that no one succeeds overnight. People who achieve their goals usually get there patiently and step by step. Regularly completing tasks “step by step” brings students closer to their goal. From my own teaching experience, I can say that weaker students who study regularly often outperform more capable students on exams who neglect a system of regular study.
3. Rest and recovery. This is, in fact, the most important part of preparation. Everything else can be put off “for later,” except for a full night's sleep. Don't expect miracles from an “exhausted” brain! To function normally, a healthy young body needs 7–8 hours of full, restful sleep.
4. Physical exercise. Start each day with 20 minutes of exercise. Physical activity helps our brains produce serotonin, which supports a good mood, and that's a reliable foundation for a good day. Besides morning exercise, stretching and short runs throughout the day can also be effective ways to boost productivity.
5. Nutrition. Take care that your child eats a balanced diet. Help them choose healthy food. The same goes for drinking enough water.
6. Personal involvement. I'd like to speak to parents who believe that sending their child to a tutor is enough to guarantee a good grade on the exam. Your children need you. It's you who should help them get organized, and your task is to provide the kind of help described in the points above.
In some situations, only you will notice increased anxiety and distress in your child. Remember that the time we spend with our children is priceless. We need to be there when they make important decisions, when they celebrate their successes, and when they go through setbacks. And if we give our children enough attention, we build a relationship of trust, and our children open their hearts to us.
7. Accepting reality. Exams and trials will be a constant presence throughout your child's life. The path to reaching a goal is made up of a series of wins and losses. Your child needs to know that no matter what grade they receive, you will always believe in them and support them.
