If this statement rings true for you, or if you've just realized it describes you and your life, then perhaps you'll agree that material wellbeing is good, but it's not enough to feel truly happy?
And then the question arises: “What, then, is needed to feel happy in life?” — that's what this article is about.
By exploring various sources, we can identify several basic principles that, when followed, help a person feel happy — and very often, regardless of their material wellbeing.
I'll describe the first principle using an example from my own work for one company — a chain of mini-bakeries. In one city in Ukraine, I was conducting interviews as a specialist in workplace relationships, essentially fine-tuning the relationships within the team.
While conducting my research during interviews with different team members, I came across one woman who was absolutely happy in her job. This person was a cleaner. She said she simply loves cleaning. Even when she gets home, the very first thing she does after eating is start cleaning. She loves helping others tidy up their apartments too.
The first principle: “do the work that you love,” or “love the work that you do.”
The next principle for feeling happy is to “have a few very strong, very deep social connections with other people.” Usually we're talking here about family bonds within one's own family, as well as one or two true, tested friends. And, at the same time, to “maintain many light, casual, friendly relationships.”
In other words, having many friends with whom you periodically keep in touch. By the way, according to some research, there's a view that a person can maintain relationships with no more than about 150 people at any given time (interesting to consider how this holds up in your own life — you can check whether it matches reality).
The next principle is — instead of stepping out of your comfort zone, which is very popular advice among many business coaches these days — quite the opposite: “create comfort around yourself, in your home, at your workplace, in your city, around you.”
The next principle is “communication, lots of communication with friends.”
I know that in Scandinavian countries — the countries with the highest happiness index — people devote a great deal of time specifically to friendly conversation. They often spend hours by candlelight with their friends. They also cultivate comfort around themselves, both inside their homes and at their workplace.
So, let's briefly sum up:
1) do work you love, love the work you do.
2) 1–3 strong, deep social connections, and many light, friendly relationships.
3) create comfort around yourself.
I'll add one more: realize your abilities through your activity. In whatever you do, fulfill yourself as much as possible. Or find the activity in which you can realize your abilities to the fullest.
That could be a good place to stop... although there's one more very important aspect: emotional health.
In order to feel happy, it's very important to let go of:
To do this, you need to forgive everyone who has wronged you, and forgive yourself for allowing things into your life that caused you pain. Receiving forgiveness heals us from neuroses in this way, and allows us to live a happy life.
If, after reading this article, you don't know how to put these principles into practice — I invite you to a free online consultation. Write to me and we'll arrange a time. Psychologist and relationship consultant Roman Shchetinin is at your service.
Being happy: it's simple, it's important, and you need it.
