An endless loop of rumination makes us more vulnerable to depression and anxiety.
- A failed meeting before a long-drawn-out divorce.
- A failed job interview last month.
- Yesterday's argument with your boss.
What do they have in common?
Have you noticed that it's usually sad, upsetting things that get stuck in our minds?
A person who says, “I'll think about this for a long time, and then I'll understand,” eventually finds that this habitual thinking becomes part of their worldview.
We all go through such or similar situations, and in most cases we handle them successfully. We mentally say what we should have said, or imagine what we should have done, and then calmly move on. Yes, this may cause irritation, but as a rule it causes no more trouble than a nagging tune stuck in your head.
But for some people, in certain situations, this circling of thoughts doesn't stop, which creates even more problems.
So what are these problems?
1. In psychology, this “circling of thoughts” is called intrusive (obsessive) thinking. This way of thinking can make us more vulnerable to depression and anxiety.
2. As a psychologist who encounters this phenomenon in my practice, I must say that intrusive thoughts take up time and energy. And, as a rule, they don't lead to any real understanding of the situation. The exhaustion caused by this process of obsessive thinking leads to a lower mood, and ultimately to depression and anxiety.
Getting stuck on past losses and mistakes, predicting a negative outcome of one's actions, and trying to control the uncontrollable — these are things that usually accompany intrusive thoughts.
3. The problem doesn't get solved no matter how long we keep turning the wheel of repetitive thoughts, because there is no transition to a new possibility.
4. This circle of sad thoughts keeps us in a state of physiological stress, which in turn leads to increased blood pressure, cardiovascular disease, hormonal imbalances, and various addictions.
5. The structure of the brain changes — certain links in associative networks are strengthened, which in turn makes it harder to find new solutions.
There is a way out of this!
1. Replace “I can't wrap my head around the fact that this happened” with “What can I do so that it doesn't happen again?” Or turn “I'm lonely, I have no friends!” into “What can I do to develop my friendships and find new friends?”
2. It's good to have positive affirmations in reserve. For example: “When I need support, I know where and how to find it.” Prepare positive affirmations in advance.
3. Plan in advance what you will think about instead of your usual circling thoughts.
4. Distract yourself with something that requires complex thinking — for example, a puzzle or a crossword.
5. Write down your thoughts so you can set them aside until a time of rest, and think about them then.
6. Don't scold yourself for not being able to handle this on your own. Various techniques certainly help, but it's better to turn to a professional — a pastoral counselor or a psychologist.
Victoria Varvarina
