Lately I've often heard the expression “my other half.”
Does that mean that, on my own, I'm incomplete? That I only feel part of an emotion, and can only know it in full as a duet? That someone has to explain to me what I'm feeling, or tell me, “no, you shouldn't feel that”? And that to think things through, I need a partner? I won't even mention interests, activities, goals, and meaning — apparently there's no way to carry any of that alone...
Alright then, I'll go off in search of my special other half — I'll take a photo and description in hand, and go. If I was created as someone's part, then I'll have to look in another person for whatever I'm missing. I'll compare how well my puzzle piece matches up with the samples I come across.
And heaven forbid the edges of the puzzle don't line up! Not my other half, then.
Off I go to keep searching for “exactly the same, but with mother-of-pearl buttons” ))) And of course, I need mutual understanding in a relationship — so that the two of us want the same things, love the same things.
Because “mutual understanding is when you march together”! So why, no matter how hard I try, doesn't joy ever show up in relationships like this?
The chance to really be in a relationship comes from a different option: “you understand me, I understand you.” I'm a person, and you're a person. We take each other's particularities into account. When we're together, we become better.
I value your opinion, but I don't put it above my own. I'm responsible for my own feelings and behavior, and you're responsible for yours. We can love each other and still be independent.
And that makes the time and feelings we give each other all the more valuable!
