Parents who complain about a lack of respect toward them in the family often treat their own children without respect — but fail to see that they themselves are not modeling respectful behavior toward one another or toward their children. They will sooner complain about a lack of respect for themselves than admit that they, in some way, have been disrespectful or dismissive.
The secret is that the moment you demand respect from a position of power, what you get is respect for that power — which is hardly what we're hoping for as parents.
The irritation you feel toward your partner (or express through your actions) is seen by your children. One parent complaining to the children about the other, spouses refusing to help each other — a lack of respect between parents leads to a lack of respect from the children. Respect does not mean permissiveness.
Children, especially teenagers, may test the boundaries of what's allowed. At the same time, if your child grows up seeing cooperation and respect within the family, they will strive to act the same way.
